The Invitation -Part 2-

 


What to Wear

    A few days pass and your morning begins like any other. You stretch a little, get out of bed and meander over to the shower. Soon you're eating your staple breakfast which consists of blueberry yogurt with granola sprinkled on top as you hurry out the door to work.  It's Wednesday, and the chaos of traffic slowly (and painstakingly) reminds that you're only halfway through the week of yet another long, boring ride on the hamster wheel.  Round and around you go, will it stop, nobody knows.  The days and weeks always have a way of running together; eat, sleep, work, all set on repeat until you’re ready to pull your hair out from boredom.  Every week forever ending in a bland disappointment.  But out of the blue, amidst the stop and go, honking of horns and the slew of verbal assaults shouted by frustrated drivers, you remember the invitation. "Oh ya!" you say out loud. A smile creeps across your face, at least I have something to think about other than my current situation you say to yourself.  An escape of sorts, if only for a few minutes.  Now your drive to work is a little more lighthearted as you begin to imagine what you'll wear to the event you decided to attend.  Today's mood now shifting into high gear with good positive thoughts, so you amble through them happily and start mulling over what you have in your closet that you could possibly wear as you weave in and out of traffic.  You have a few nice outfits, but because you have no idea what the occasion is for, you begin to compartmentalize what you have; a few semi-formal (nothing too fancy), a lot of casual clothes, a pair or two of nice shoes and a plethora of accessories.  You think back to the invitation and remember its intriguing beauty and suddenly you are overcome by the realization that you may be unprepared.  This is probably a formal event!  Your mood takes a jump off a stiff diving board into an empty pool as you cry out, "I have nothing to wear!" With a deflated sigh, you pull into the parking lot at work.  Resigned to yet another day of expected monotony.  Oh joy...

 




Pains Of Preparation

    That evening as you walk in the door in a hurry to get dinner on, you begin thinking about the outfits in your closet again. Somewhere, between preparing pasta and sauteing the shrimp it dawns on you that you'll need a new outfit for this event. I need to go shopping you think to yourself. You can't just show up in what you have now. You remind yourself you need to make sure to put your best foot forward and as you do, silently, deep inside, without even knowing it’s taking place, a storm begins to brew.  One you will not know is there until it turns into a raging hurricane you can hardly reckon with.  The type of storm that will grow insecurities and doubt for the next 2 weeks.  You continue prepping dinner, a bit more anxiously, while still trying to figure it all out. I've got time you think to yourself. A week passes and payday arrives, so you head straight to the mall in search of the perfect outfit for the big night.  Outfit after outfit finds its way back to the rack.  Too tight, too sloppy, too boring, too fancy, not fancy enough. "Why can't I just find something that I look nice in?" you say out loud.  Your heart is racing, and your frustration is mounting.  For three more days you return to the mall desperately seeking a suitable outfit all the while the growing insecurities are beginning to have their way with you. Maybe you shouldn't go.  Maybe you should just ignore the invitation.  Afterall, nothing is really at stake if I don’t show up... right?



    Fear and doubt begin their psychological games with your head.  Doubt that says you won't miss anything important anyway.  Fear says maybe you will.  Which voice will you listen to?  Since the day you received this invitation, it has been on your mind, every day, always there in the back of your thoughts.  You try so hard to not make a big deal out of it, but for some reason you can't help but feel this night could be a game changer.  Maybe that's why you've been so stressed about it.  

    The preparation and overthinking are killing you, but in the end, your hopeful anticipation undoubtedly wins the battle. "I'm going, even if it kills me!"

 -TO BE CONTINUED-

 

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