In His Hands

 

Leave a Comment / Share / faith, love, relationship, meditation

By Amber Stephens

(I wrote this about a few months into the pandemic after one of my meditations with Jesus and thought it still holds much hope and encouragement today for anyone who is struggling with the state of the world. Take heart my friends.) 

In the muck of darkness, and weeds of sorrow, I stood knee deep calling out to my Lord. "Help me. I need you." From my despair I saw a hand reach out to me. He was there. He pulled me upwards and as He did, the mud and darkness withdrew from me as if it were a separate entity and recoiled back toward the earth.  There was a warm light surrounding Him.  Then color.  Such vibrant color.  What had been thorns and weeds entangling me, had become flowers of incredible beauty.  Aromas filled the air, and what was foul, became sweet and pleasing.  We embraced and the tears of sorrow caused by distance between us flowed from my eyes as my heart recognized my Savior.  My Prince of Peace.  My true home. 

As my Creator held me in His arms, I leaned against His chest for a spell. Soaking my spirit in His grace and strength. I could feel his heartbeat in my ear. I stood there silently letting the rhythm of His heartbeat soothe my cries. When I was finally ready, I spoke the words "I've missed you" and I gazed upon Him sorrowfully.  For I understood immediately that it was I who was absent, not Him.  He smiled and said, " I've been here the whole-time daughter " and He had.  It was I who had not come into His presence.  Prayed?  Yes.  Thanked?  Daily.  But abided?  That's what I hadn't done.  I had not slowed down long enough to meet Him there, in our secret place.  The place where our hearts connect and become one.

I looked at my Savior shamefully and sighed. "I'm sorry Lord. I'm sorry I've been so distant, but I need you now... all of this, the chaos and uncertainty... I am so overwhelmed. What should I do? Where do You want me? What is my assignment?  I don't know anymore. I'm scared of what I see happening all around me, yet I want so badly to rise to the occasion. I want to do something; I just don't know what that is. I...." He sensed my frantic mind jumping from thought to thought.

Instantly He calmed the storm raging in my mind. He looked at me and whispered, "Withstand. I just need you to withstand, and remember I am with you during this time."

Jesus then stretched out His arm, His hand closed, and when He opened it again, I saw far off lands appear in front of me. Lands I did not recognize. Lands of steep mountains, and beaches, of waterfalls and forests. Lands of both concrete and steel and lands of sand. Lands of lush oasis and lands baron and stark. It looked as though the entire world was a mirage in front of me, but somehow, I could see it so clearly. Then Jesus spoke with tenderness and authority, "All that you see is here in My hand. This life, this world, was and IS Mine."

He squeezed His hand and opened it once more. This time I saw a hole from where the nail in His palm had been.  As I looked upon the flesh from which He hung His life in exchange for mine, blood began to ooze from the wound. Then He made a quick sweeping motion with His hand and the blood that had pooled from His wound sprayed forth over the lands in front of us. I saw His blood cover all, shed for all, to intercede for all in every corner of the earth, every square mile, whether it be in the most populated lands, or the areas still covered in darkness with very few inhabitants. The image penetrated my sorrow like an arrow to my heart and filled me with a knowing as the truth settled my quaking bones.

"I have ALREADY done what is necessary, what is needed, My dear child."  I could see His full glory and how His sacrifice had painted the entire world in salvation and hope. His purpose conquering ALL things!  All fears! All sin! Conquering even death itself.  

I felt relief in that moment. Awe in that moment, and even a bit of fear in that moment. Acknowledging His blood as the most powerful source to ever exist, my endless desire for "purpose" suddenly fell flat. Then together, as we gazed upon the image of the world, my anxiety fled like clouds breaking apart after a storm. The darkness in my mind crept away like a thief trying to escape his persecution. I began to see the truth of what IS and how it will manifest when He declares it to be so.  There is nothing I need to do.  In His perfect time, He himself, will reclaim all that belongs to Him.

My heart slowed.  My breaths became steady.  My mind bowing to His all-encompassing authority.  He opened His hand once more and I stared into it knowing everything I seek sits in the palm of His precious hand.  Peace, love, safety and provision.  Suddenly, in my ears I could hear His heartbeat, even though I was no longer leaning against His chest. "Boom-boom." The sound easing every thought, every question. Peace coursing through my soul that I could not explain. Then, as I watched His hand and listened to His beating heart, the very next beat His hand changed from a human hand to a hand composed of the brightest light.  I could barely look upon it. With the next beat, it turned back into His human hand with the nail mark. "Boom-boom" again, the sound of His heartbeat in my ear. Then back to the light. "Boom-boom." Human. "Boom-boom." Light. "Boom-boom."  God the Father. "Boom-boom." God the Son. "Boom-boom."  Same hand.  "Boom-boom." Together as One.  So beautiful I thought. Fully God.  Fully Man.  Fully both.

"I know your thoughts" He told me. "I will instruct you when the time is near. You will not doubt it is Me. I will make your assignment clear." I could do nothing but trust in His words. I knew then my job was to simply praise Him. Praise Him in the wait. Praise Him in the storm.  In the chaos. To sit in His glorious presence and abide in Him. I knew, that if and when I must complete any assignment for Him, that He would be the one to reveal it. I knew He had it all in His hands. Every last detail. Every plan, every victory, every heartache, every joy.  They are His and begin and end in His perfectly capable hands.

With complete gratitude I uttered to Him, "I love You" and in the same breath, pleaded that I didn't want to leave and go back to the place where I cannot feel Him. I cried and gripped tightly to His hand. He lifted my chin and said..."but I have made you strong. I will always be enough for you. I will strengthen you. You are Mine! And I will always be here." I felt the joy of that truth spread in my innermost spirit. I knew instantly that I must seek Him diligently, longingly.  Every.  Day.  I realized that it is never Him that hides Himself from us, but we who unintentionally hide ourselves from Him amongst the mud and muck of this world.

He smiled lovingly, and I knew in an instant I could see Him (speak to Him, embrace Him) as often as I was willing. Joy swept through me, and in that moment, my hope was restored in full.  He gently released my hand and stepped toward the lands I had seen out in front of us and as He did, a heavenly light burst forth and, in an instant, everything was brilliant white!  The world clothed in His majesty. There was nothing else needed, nothing else to be done, but to celebrate and enjoy the Light's victory over the darkness.

This is what I saw when I sought the Lord.  This will remain my hope.  My anchor.  My place of peace.

Thank you, Lord.  Until next time, I pray for those who seek You.  I pray they find You.  I pray Your blood over their lives.  Thank you always for everything You are!  Our peace amidst the muck and mud.  Our everlasting God!  Amen and Hallelujah. 

 God Bless.

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