By Grace, through Faith.

The way of grace doesn't always come easy for every Christian.   Some of us struggle to understand it.  We want so badly to somehow interject ourselves in the promised salvation covenant between the Father and His Son.  It is such an ENORMOUS gift that we instantly feel the human urge to pay it back, to do something in return, make vows and promises of our own,  perform works till we're exhausted... all because we feel unworthy of such an incredible, overwhelming gift.  

What starts from the heart as a humble act of love and devotion to our amazing Savior, can quickly become a daunting, obligatory, self-fulfilling, self-righteous chain of useless human efforts that leave us feeling overwhelmed, confused and uncertain.  Afterall,  how would we ever know how much effort it takes to please God?  And how could we ever be sure?

Fortunately, the answer is in the Bible.   What pleases God?  Faith.  Faith in Him.  Faith in His Son.  Faith in their new covenant we call the gospel. 

This gospel of grace is the Good News the Father and Son agreed upon through the shedding of Jesus' blood at Calvary.  Christians will say they believe the gospel, they say they understand it is by grace.  They'll cheer when grace is preached.  They'll even say, "Amen, it's not about works, lest any man shall boast!" as they instantaneously turn around and work on their crazy, busy 'To-Do' list for the Lord. Without even realizing the weight that is sitting on their chest.  This 'heaviness' that they wake up to everyday that they just can't put their finger on.  Most of the time they don't even recognize that all their planning, doing, working, purpose-finding, serving, studying is wearing them down until they finally crash and burn.   How do I know?  Cause I myself didn't recognize it for a long time.  I  believed I was doing my part,  doing what I ought to.  Doing what I should do.  Doing what I needed to do.  I, I, I.  What a slippery slope self can become.

Suddenly, after everything I was doing and engaged in went up in flames,  the word 'grace' began to look and sound a bit different to me, but I didn't know what it was trying to teach me just yet.  

I kept thinking, this grace thing seemed too easy.  Seems like a Christian cop-out if you will.  Being a type A personality, I tend towards "doing", "working" and "structure."  So I kept hammering away at the good works and behavior modifications like a good little Christian.  Until I crashed and burned again and again.

It took a while for the scales to fall from my eyes,  but with every crash and burn, a few more scales would gracefully drop off.  There was a dim light that garnered my attention every time I trudged through the dark cavern of busyness that whispered, "over here!"  But I would chastise myself and tell myself no,  you're just taking the easy way out, get back to work!  

It took considerable effort and constant submersion in "everything grace" in order to drain myself of all the guilt I felt every time I craved rest.  I realize now, years later, the whole process was necessary.  Why?   To bring me to the end of my own self.  To help me see that what I truly needed was not more effort,  but more faith.   Faith and my utter reliance upon Jesus and His finished work.  I needed to believe what God declares about His Son and that it really is Good News. 

Exhausted and desperate, after my many attempts at working to pay back a debt that was already paid once and for all...Grace (Jesus) stared me straight in the eye and politely asked, "Are you ready yet?"

Humbled, tired and hopeless, I whispered, "Yes.  Yes I am."

As I began to set it all down, I can't explain how much weight I offloaded from my soul.   It shocked me to look at the pile of traditions and expectations I had acquired over the years just sitting there in a heap of useless rubbish.  Expectations and traditions that Jesus never wanted to burden me with just laying there pathetically crying out for attention.  The best part of awakening to grace has been that Jesus has never once asked me to pick anything out of that pile back up. Never once!  He simply took my hand and began walking with me.  There are days I can still hear the old and tired lies of the Deceiver trying to pull me back under,  but Jesus gently reminds me,  "ignore him, focus on Me."

So I will.  I will walk with Jesus.  I will listen to Him alone.  I will pray for more and more understanding of grace.  I will take the pressure off my self and acknowledge what He has already done on my behalf at the Cross.  I will appreciate all that He has suffered for me.  And all that He has done through me, both then and now and for all my tomorrows, and accept my part in our ever-growing relationship... which is to believe and love!  And to understand I will never stop growing in grace, for it isn't something we could ever outgrow, or mature out of, just as Peter suggested all those years ago. 

So I will close with this encouraging plea;

My dear brothers and sisters, are you ready to rest?

Are you ready to trust?

Jesus is waiting to help you unpack.  My sincerest prayer is that you let Him. 🙏 

With all grace and love, 

Your sister Amber